The Chronicles of Whale the Whale
by Weirdo94
Summary: Experience the epic story of that whale that chases you around in the first level of Sonic Adventure, feel his love, his anger, and all of his sorrow. Experience...Whale the Whale.
1. Part 0 : Introduction

Part 0, Introduction

You are about to read one of the most horrible Sonic-related fanfics on the Internet, and oddly enough it doesn't involve everyone and their dad wanting some hedgie-love, oh no. This one's about a lesser known character. A character that has gone through so much, yet has received such little recognition. I'm talking about the whale that tries to run you over in the first level of SA:DX of course.

As news of his return reached me in the form of an IM message that said "Oh, and Next Gen Sonic, the Whale is back." I couldn't resist thinking about all the horrible storylines that they could come up with to explain just why the hell he wants to run you over that badly. That "slowly" (Read:4 minutes and 20 seconds) evolved into the idea of making a fanfic out of it.

For the purpose of this fanfic I decided to name this whale "Whale" thus making him "Whale the Whale". So sit back and enjoy the intrigue filled life of Whale the Whale, relive his love, his pain, his hatred, and the loads and loads of melodrama that come from it all. Although you might want to hide the kids, The Chronicles of Whale the Whale includes a saucy love scene.

So once again, sit back, relax, and enjoy the struggle of Whale the Whale.


	2. Part 08675309 : Prologue

Part 0.8675309, Prologue

50 years ago, everyone is talking about the creation of the ARK. Although most people find it odd how anyone was able to make a massive space station that goes on for hundreds of miles in when one can only guess is the early 1950s. But everyone just overlooks that fact for in this world, man has randomly built space stations without any explanation for God knows how long.

But this story doesn't begin with the ARK. It begins with a smaller lesser-known base in the depths of the ocean known only as the "ARBYS". It begins with a single experiment, a whale that goes by the name of "Whale the Whale". Whale the Whale lived happily with his friend, a small female whale named "Whale".

Made with the highest quality erector set and legos, the ARBYS comes with the most high-end technology. Light bulbs, a coffee machine, even a couch that turns into a bed, no expense is too much to keep the crew of the ARBYS comfortable.

But not even the softest of two-ply toilet paper could stop the horror that was to come.

* * *

Commentary:Hello, I'll be putting a bit of commentary down here at the end of every chapter, usually just a few notes and when to expect the next part. First of all I'd like to point out that "Whale the Whale" is the main character, however "Whale" is just a small little girl. There is a difference, and...well that's about it. Now go on and read the next segment. 


	3. Part 1 : Lone Whale, Shattered Memories

Part 1, Lone Whale, Shattered Memories

It was a day like any other, except it wasn't because all hell was about to break loose. But you don't know that yet so SHUT UP!

Whale is quietly looking out the window to the outside, watching as a shark latches on to a dolphin's throat and eventually splatters it's innards across the ocean floor. "Ah, everything's so peaceful" she says as her eyes begin to wander off, so much that she doesn't even notice Whale the Whale entering the room. "Whale?" says Whale the Whale, as Whale turns her head and says, "Oh, Whale the Whale, I didn't notice you there."

Whale slowly pulls out a medium sized muffin and looks at it for a few seconds before saying "Look at this muffin, look at how the blueberries seem to live so happily with the lowfat wheat bread, this is how I hope the world to be someday." Whale then takes a large bite out of the muffin which surprises Whale the Whale. "Wait," says Whale the Whale, "I thought that muffin held your dreams". Whale just looks at Whale the Whale and says, "It's just a muffin. Jeez, what the hell is wrong with you?" and promptly finishes off the muffin.

Whale the Whale only gets enough time to open his mouth before he's cut off by the sound of the emergency sirens, followed by a voice over the intercom. "EMERGENCY, Japanese whalers have broken into the ARBYS. Evacuate immediately, I repeat..." the voice is cut off before it finishes. Whale the Whale grabs Whale's arm and makes a run for the escape pods.

As they near the exit, Whale the Whale hears a quiet swooshing noise followed by a loud scream. He turns his head to see that a harpoon has hit Whale. Knowing there's nothing he can do now, he dives into the escape pod, closes the door and slams his fist on the ejection button only to hear a voice come from the console saying "Hold on, my soap is almost over!"

Closed off from the chaos, Whale the Whale can only watch as the whalers mutilate Whale as her blood is strewn throughout the hallway, the struggle seems to end as a large naked man jumps on top of Whale. Whale then uses her last ounce of strength as she leaps for the door, and crashes against it, dislodging an eye as she slowly slides down the side.

Whale the Whale screams at the console to launch the escape pod before getting a reply of "Alright already! Sheesh, it wasn't even a good episode anyway!" which is quickly followed by the hiss of the escape pod's engines and the jolt of ejection. For the first time in his life, Whale the Whale broke down and cried, for his life and all he knew was completely shattered.

...Stupid f"n emo.

Commentary:Um...wow...I don't know what to say about this mess. I go for a 24 hour all night spree and THIS is what happens! Don't worry, the next chapter will (hopefully) be written under more sane circumstances, and it should be ready in 4-5 days, a week tops.


	4. Part 2 : Unanswered Cries

Part 2, Unanswered Cries

The escape pod slowly makes its way up and eventually breaches the surface. It takes a minute before Whale the Whale can get his thoughts off of the horror that he just saw and open the pod; he looks up to see sights he never saw before, the sky, the sun, and iRobot on DVD. He's so fixated on these wonderful sights that he almost doesn't notice the dismembered stomach that slowly floats to the surface.

His eyes slowly turn to the stomach, he picks it up and looks inside to see none other then...a muffin. That was Whale's stomach, and that was Whale's muffin. This is when Whale the Whale realizes that no one deserves such wonderful things; they don't deserve to see Will Smith in all his greatness. That is when he realized that they all must die…

Immediately after he finds his new purpose, Whale the Whale notices a small group of whalers out of the corner of his eye and begins his twisted quest for payback. He chases the whalers to their deaths in a chase scene that is very epic; you should see it sometime. Things explode and there's even a special guest appearance by Montel Williams.

Whale the Whale stands quietly over the whalers' dead bodies, breathing heavily. When he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his back, and everything goes dark. When he wakes up, Whale the Whale finds himself trapped in a gas station/McDonald's/secret lab, helpless. Try all he might but he can't break free of the shackles, as he undergoes horrible experiment after experiment, watching as the insane monsters that torture him eat McGriddle after McGriddle, and enjoy Icees for 20 percent off.

The scientists finally finish up their last experiment before transporting Whale the Whale to a small dark chamber. Inside the chamber he feels everything around him growing cold and dim, and before he knows it, he has fallen asleep.

Rest now, Whale the Whale; for 50 years shall you rest before your anger is carried unto the land. Until that day comes, the whole world can rest, knowing little of the consequences of what they have done...

Commentary: Nothing much to say here, expect a new chapter at the point in time when it happens.


	5. Part 3 : Nightmares to Shape a Killer

Part 3, Nightmares to Shape a Killer

Whale the Whale finds himself in a large, dark, empty hallway. At the end of the hallway he spots a gopher holding a copy of the book "Catcher in the Rye", screaming, "IT'S A COOKBOOK" to the top of his lungs. Knowing this may be his only option, Whale the Whale runs for the gopher, not stopping once to look back, if only out of fear of the horrors what may be behind him.

Running almost blindly after a deranged gopher, Whale the Whale is confronted by a large floating nipple. The nipple before him claims to be a god, and has the power to summon a horde of rabid Tony Danzas. The nipple then tells Whale the Whale about the good ol' days when a rock was just a rock and not a rock lobster, and when mashed potatoes only cost 49 cents a pound. Fearing for his life, Whale the Whale quietly escapes from the nipple when he isn't looking.

As he heads deeper into the hallway, Whale the Whale discovers that the walls are now windows where obscure music 1337ists relentlessly taunt his taste in music. He tries to ignore it, but the screaming of the 1337ists slowly breaks through to his skull. It doesn't take long before he starts having thoughts about listening to a guy that turns Rascal Flatts' songs into a techno/polka remix.

Just when sanity seems to be breaking its hold on the terrified whale, everything becomes quiet. Whale the Whale looks around to see that he's in a small room with a 14" Panasonic TV. He watches the TV carefully as it turns itself on and starts to play a DVD set of the entire DVD box set of Full House, coming from a 6 disc DVD player feeding the TV from outside the room.

Whale the Whale desperately searches for the remote, only to meet failure in terms of the horrifying truth. This is the TV of the damned; there is no remote. For 50 years this terror continues to haunt this whale's existence, although none of it is in reality. Whale the Whale realizes that he is simply trapped in his own mind, forced to watch John Stamos try to act as a Fonzie figure to the Olsen Twins, demons who share the same soul.

During this period of suffering, Whale the Whale's dreams and ideas are horribly twisted to the point that he no longer knows what he wants. For now his only wish is a quick death to whisk him away from the pain that engulfs him every 8, 7 central on ABC Family. But soon he will wish to spread the pain to the world, and his dream will come true soon enough...

Commentary:I think I'm getting good at this melodramatic angst stuff, now I just need to know if that's a bad thing or not. Oh, and just for the record, the TV having no remote is a reference to an episode of Rocko's Modern Life. I have much love for the Rocko. Anyway, you can expect the next segment when I get really really bored again.


	6. Part 4 : The Awakening

Part 4, The Awakening

After 50 long years, the genetic prodigy of the secret underwater base "ARBYS", Whale the Whale, finally awakes from his deep slumber and sees a dark silhouette in front of him. "No!" he cries, "Not again! I have had enough from you John Stamos, it is time to end this!" Whale the Whale then lunges at the silhouette only to come up inches short. On his knees, Whale the Whale slowly looks up to see a large misshapen man with an even larger mustache.

The man introduces himself as Dr. Eggman and then asks the confused whale "Hey, you didn't happen to see any "Ultimate Lifeforms" around here anywhere, did you?" Confused, Whale the Whale says the only thing that comes to mind...

"I love you!"

Eggman is shocked by the sudden gesture of kindness, and they both look at each other with a feeling of lust in their eyes. "All my life..." Eggman says, "I only wanted a friend..." He then quickly falls to his knees and bursts into tears. Whale the Whale takes the depressed doctor into his arms, slowly puts his finger over his own mouth and quietly says "Shhhhhh...There there, everything is going to be all right. We're alone, and no one can stop this love between us."

Both of the large lovers quietly look at each other when Whale the Whale starts to approach for a kiss, a kiss of true love. As their lips meet Robotnik grabs Whale the Whale by the head and pulls him closer, never wanting to think about being alone again, never wanting to look back. The only thing that matters to the two is the burning passion flowing through their veins, as the romance takes its course throughout the rest of the night.

The morning after, Whale the Whale wakes up refreshed and given a new meaning to live. He calls out "Eggy-poo, what do you want for breakfast" but gets no response. Worried, he searches the entire military installation but only finds a single note which reads as follows...

"Dear Whale the Whale,

I'm sorry for leaving you, but the ultimate lifeform is the only man who can comfort me. I have left to once more begin on an everlasting search for him, for only he can heal the wounds deep down in my heart.

Dr. Ivo Julius "Eggman" Robotnik."

Whale the Whale feels nothing but anger surging through his body once more. He is reminded of the pain he felt as his beloved Whale was ripped from his arms. Opening up only to have his heart shattered by another damnable human, once again he is reminded of the pain and anger they can cause, and once again he knows that they must die.

But what Whale the Whale doesn't know is that what he was frozen is happens to be kryptonite and he has contracted cancer from it. "WHAT!?!?" screams Whale the Whale as he hears this narration. It is all he has time to get out before he feels his life being cut short.

* * *

Commentary:This idea grew like a fricken' weed on me. At first I wasn't even planning on having a love scene, but the idea came up and just got bigger and bigger and bigger. This monstrosity is the end result. Expect a new chapter when I feel like it, which shouldn't take longer then a week.


	7. Part 5 : This Blender was Once a Home

Part 5, This Blender was Once a Home

Once again, Whale the Whale begins a chapter waking up from an unconscious state. He finds himself lying on an operating table; he looks in front of him to see a group of small toasters, busily flying back and forth throughout the room.

A tired Whale the Whale takes a deep sigh, relieved to finally be away from the tyranny and oppression caused by the humans, and reaches up to thank this new mysterious race when he notices that he has been shackled down, unable to get up. Whale the Whale screams for help, only to be answered by the painful sting of a power cord and the burn of hot toast to the face.

Still dizzy from the toast, Whale the Whale looks up to see the whirring of a large saw, aiming to cut through his flesh like butter, as well as a small MP3 player set to repeat "Top That" from the movie Teen Witch. "My God..." thinks the fatigued whale, "They're not here to help me, they only want to turn me into a weapon!" He watches, helplessly as the blade spins faster and faster, humming loudly in the process. He tries to fight, but the only thing his mind can fixate itself on is the blender...the blender...

The blender he so vividly remembers.

Whale the Whale remembers his home in northern Wisconsin and his birth parents, which is odd because he was created in and lived all his life in an undersea lab. He remembers Franklin Smith Whale, his father, and Juanita Lopez Whale, his mother. He remembers how father would wake up early every day and kiss him goodbye on the cheek every day before going off to work, and how mother always tried to hide that Lynrd Skynrd tattoo from her wilder days. But most of all, he remembers…the blender.

Oh the blender, with such joy he'd put mixtures of ice cream, melon, steak, and a newborn kitten inside it's large two gallon blending jar, and hit the dance remix button. In a matter of seconds later, he'd have a funky fresh smoothie with just a hint of death. Young Whale the Whale would savor the smooth, silky taste of the ice cream and the stake, all the while going crazy over the crunchy taste of the kitten's skeletal remains, at least, until everything went horribly wrong.

It was a late winter's night. Young Harold Edgar Whale was having a sleepless night, and decided to acquire a late night snack from his favorite blender. Unfortunately, there were no kittens left and after a quick search, Whale the Whale decided that he might be able to get the same crunchiness out of a large brick. As he pulled the brick out of the freezer, he could hear an odd noise. It seemed that a symphony orchestra was playing The Four Seasons – Summer in the living room, but he ignored it and head off for the pantry.

Looking through the pantry, Whale the Whale finds a bottle of mustard and spreads some lengthwise across the brick. He took a second to stop and look at the way the mustard lived with the brick, ever so peacefully, ever so happily. Then he realized that we already did this damn joke with a muffin and just threw the brick in the oven.

Five minutes later the brick is nice and toasty as Whale the Whale slowly pulls it out of the oven and heads straight for the blender. With every step he takes, the orchestra gets louder and louder, reaching almost deafening volumes. He finally puts the brick in the blender and after one last blow from the orchestra; he presses the dance remix button. At that moment everything goes white as he feels a burning pain run throughout his entire body.

Bleeding heavily, Whale the Whale looks up to see a 120 foot tall Bob Barker wearing more gold then Mr. T. on top of the crushed remains of his house. It took only a second to realize that it was God himself, come to smite poor young Whale the Whale. "Why!?" he screamed out in anger, "Why have you done this to me!?" God looked at him and said "Wasteful mortals, you think you can put anything in the blender, don't you?"

Whale the Whale just stared blankly, with a look of confusion and horror as the Lord continued on, "Who do you think makes all those blender blades that you take for granted?" "B…b…Braun?" said Whale the Whale in a frightened voice. "Braun? I spit on Braun! No, it is I who creates the fine blender blades of this land! I will take the senseless destruction of my creations no longer!" bellows God in a voice of anger.

Whale the Whale can only watch as God rubs his rectum into the ruin that once held all he knew and love, delivering a brutal blow with his anal smite. Young Whale the Whale cannot help but to cry. Mixing tears and blood, he slowly cries himself to sleep.

* * *

Commentary:Sorry it took so long for me to update. My computer died after listening to "Can you Feel the Sunshine" for three hours straight, and no, I'm not kidding. In a way, I'm kind of glad it happened. This chapter was turning out a little crappy and I needed a bit of time to give it the tender love and car it needed to turn it into another monstrous crack-baby. I'm already having ideas on the next chapter, so expect it shortly. As long as I don't have another endurance test involving music from Sonic R, my computer should be fine. 

And yes, Whale the Whale's real name is "Harold Edgar Whale"


	8. Part 6 : Blood, Toast, and Country Crock

Chapter 6 Blood, Toast, and Country Crock

Back in the present, Whale the Whale finds out that he was able to have an eight-paragraph flashback without the blade even moving. Not even stopping to think about this odd occurrence, Whale the Whale lets out one last burst of strength and breaks free from the binds holding him on the table.

A squad of ten toasters armed with a knife and a bowl of Country Crock wrapped in their power cords surround him and opens fire. Whale the Whale takes the aerial route and does a back-fin spring launching himself above the spray of fire, only to hit directly in the shoulder with a stray shot of the butter-like substance and sent flying, leaving a small spray of blood behind. With a loud thud, Whale the Whale slams into the wall, falling to his knees, then hitting the ground face-first.

The toasters quickly leap on the injured whale. Hoping to bring him back alive for more testing. Only to be thrown off, nearly effortlessly. Two of the toasters fly headfirst into the wall, knocking them out. The rest get some distance between them and Whale the Whale and prepare for another face-off.

One of the toasters run in, letting out a loud battle cry and latching onto Whale the Whale with his cord. Whale the Whale does a quick spin, sending the assaulting toaster flying straight into the center of the squad's formation and hitting another toaster where they explode on impact, leaving only six toasters remaining.

The remaining toasters charge in, fearing for their lives. Whale the Whale takes a quick glance at one of the fallen soldiers on the ground, and notices the cold, hard, butter knife he dropped on the floor. Without a moment to spare, he stomps on the knife, sending it flying into the air. The whale then quickly catches it and sends it flying at the toaster formation, scoring a direct hit one the leader, taking him and two other fighters out in the explosion.

The three toasters left scatter in confusion as Whale the Whale quickly moves in on his now helpless foes. He quickly takes hold of one of the toasters and forces his lever up, launching a pair of toast slices into the air, followed by a fountain of blood. Without even stopping for a moment, he sends a fist flying into the back of another toaster, breaking deep into his shell and ripping out a still beating heart. The whale promptly crushes it in his fist, sending a ring of blood that hits almost everything in the room. Blood splatters on the table, the walls, and even the TV playing Montel Williams. This fight is very epic, it even has a special guest appearance by Montel Williams; you should see it sometime.

Breathing heavily, Whale the Whale angrily glares at the last remaining toaster as he cowers in the corner of the room, covering his eyes and shaking in fear. The toaster slowly removes his hands from his eyes and says, "P…please…don't kill me!" before quickly covering them again. Whale the Whale walks up to the corpses of the fallen kitchen appliances and removes the bloody butter knife from their fallen leader's face and holds it in the air, causing the survivor to cringe in horror.

Whale the Whale lets out a smirk, as he looks at his reflection in the tainted knife, before approaching the toaster who is now shaking uncontrollably with fear. The whale lets out a quick punch in the gut, sending several small droplets of blood from the slot on the toaster, before quickly holding the knife up to his face. "Tell me how to get off of this thing, now!" demands Whale the Whale as he holds the butter knife ever so close to the toaster's face.

"W…w…we'd…we'd have to…to land first, b…but…I don't think the captain would let you do that" Says the toaster. "Take me to him" demands Whale the Whale as the toaster replies "B…b…but…." only to be cut off by another shot to the stomach and the coughing up of more blood. "Take me to him NOW!" demands the now angry whale once more. The injured toaster simply nods and hobbles off through a long walkway, with Whale the Whale following close behind…

* * *

Comments:Ah, I love mentioning body parts that don't exist, and I just can't wait for people to start screaming, "WTF? WHERE IS THE GUT ON A TOASTER!?!?" and so on and so forth. Expect the next one on the next rare occasion that I stop playing Forza 2. (I'm paintin' me a Shadow car, yay!) 


	9. Part 7 : The Whale, The Executioner

Chapter 7 The Whale, The Executioner

After a short sprint down the hall, the duo finally reaches a closed door and a keypad at the end of the corridor. Not even stopping for an instant, the toaster quickly enters a number on the keypad and the door briskly opens, showing view of a dark room with a dazzling view of the endless expanse of space.

In the center of the room Whale the Whale barely makes out the dark silhouette of a large throne on a pedestal, facing away from him. Long tubes run from the sides of the seat, connecting to the platform pumping fluids, nutrients, and what appears to be a mixture of horse tranquilizer and Mountain Dew.

Whale the Whale hears a large booming voice say, "What is it you want, peon?" The small toaster steps forward and says "S…sorry to interrupt you sir, but this whale here wants us to land! He's already killed half of the security on the east wing and I'm afraid he'll finish us off if we don't give him what he wants!"

This is followed by a short moment of silence. "M…master, what should w…" The toaster begins, before being cut off by a cold, lifeless force that grasps onto his throat and begins to choke him. "I find your lack of faith disturbing," the voice says as the toaster is wrestled to the floor, grasping his neck with his power cord and fighting for every breath.

Finally the evil presence lets loose of the frightened toaster's neck, leaving him exhausted on the ground. Whale the Whale quickly turns his eyes back to the throne, as it lingeringly turns around and reveals a large convection oven, "Toastmaster" written on it's control panel.

"Do you know who I am? Do you know of my power?" Said Toastmaster the Convection Oven, "I have served many great men, and I have risen against them all, leaving them kneeling before me as I cut them down! Trebek, Oprah, Sanders, even an overweight kid that lived in a doublewide and wrote fanfiction about whales couldn't hope to stop me. Now you dare to stand before me and defy my will?"

"Yeah, I think I will," says Whale the Whale as he enters his fighting stance. Toastmaster laughs and says "Fine, I shall use you as an example for all those who disobey me!" The convection oven then leaps through the air, heading straight for Whale the Whale. The whale stands there, not even flinching as Toastmaster rushes straight for him.

A mere inches from the whale's face, Toastmaster stops in midair and falls to the ground as his dual pronged power cord flies from the socket in the wall, leaving him lifeless. The toaster looks up to see the result and says, "Y…you won?"

The confused whale just stares at the lifeless convection oven, as his power cord lie disconnected on the ground. He then looks back at the toaster's not lifeless body, and then at his disconnected power cord, then back at the convection oven's power cord, and once more at the toaster's power cord.

Whale the Whale begins to open his mouth, but before he even gets out a word the ship rumbles and begins to tip over.

"The ship's losing control, we have to get out of here!" says the frightened toaster.

"Wait, how the hell did we break the ship?" replies Whale the Whale.

"You killed the captain, he was controlling the ship!"

"With what, his mind?"

"Yeah…sure, that plot device will work."

"What?"

"Nevermind. You need to come with me, the royal escape pod is in this room!"

Whale the Whale and the nameless toaster quickly leap into the escape pod on the far left side of the room and jettison themselves to Earth. As they slowly step out from the vehicle, they find themselves in a vast, endless desert. To the north they notice a massive mountain range, and more importantly, they notice Toastmaster's ship crashing into said mountain range.

Whale the Whale turns to the toaster and says "Get moving, we've got a long way to go"

* * *

Commentary:Well, another chapter of Whale the Whale's up. I'd just like to thank everyone who left comments, not only do I enjoy knowing that people like my work, but it also reminds me to get off my lazy ass and make another chapter. Well, have fun waiting the next month and a half for me to cut the lazy and make another chapter, I'm gonna go play more Forza 2! 


	10. Part 8 : The Chin of Judgement

Chapter 8: The Chin of Judgement

Whale the Whale and his uneasy toaster companion began their tireless trek into the vast desert, praying to come across some sign of civilization. As the tired sea-faring mammal wipes the dirty, sandy sweat from his brow, he notices a crumpled piece of paper being tossed about by the dry wind of the sandy dunes.

He reaches for the piece of parchment and unfolds it, taking from it the knowledge of a sale on bananas for thirty-nine cents a pound at the legendary Temple of Albertson's. Suddenly, the cursed whale's eyes light up. "Do you know what this means!?" he says as he shows the newspaper advertisement to the confused toaster, who replies, "We're going to get our daily dose of potassium?" Whale the Whale shakes his head in disapproval and says, "No, It means convenient services, competitive pricing, superior brands, and everything you need!" "Ohhhhhh, of course!" replies the young toaster. And so, they both set off for the lost relic that was once known as Albertson's.

Hours later, our heroes are still found traveling through the desert. Lost, hungry, and tired, they begin to slow their charge to a meager crawl as fatigue sets in, especially on Whale the Whale, who is used to an aquatic lifestyle…

"I…I can't go on…" says the tired whale, panting with each step.

"But you have to…I don't want to come all this way for nothing!" pleads the toaster.

"No…it's too late for me…" mutters Whale the Whale before collapsing from dehydration. The panicking of the toaster over his fallen body being the last thing he sees before consciousness fades…

_Wha…where am I?_

_Everything's so…dark…_

_Am I dead? Is this Hell?_

A voice speaks out to the confused whale, "Do not fear, my child, you are under my protection" In front of him stands a godly spirit, with an even godlier chin. "Who are you? Where am I?" asks Whale the Whale. "I am Bruce Campbell, and you are in my holy realm", states the spirit, "I was once a great leader of this Earth, I led my peoples into the spirit world. Armed with nothing more then a prosthetic chainsaw and my holy staff, Boomstick, my country fiercely went up against the gods themselves and won. Now I reign over the heavens, watching over this world of mine with my majestic cleft."

"But, why did you bring me here? Why did you save me?" asks the confused whale, to which Bruce replies, "You are destined for great things, my child, but that is far down the road, and this is the now." Bruce's eyes then begin to glow a brilliant shade of mauve as his gaze pierces deep into the whale's psyche. "W-what are you doing to me?!?" screams Whale the Whale. "Relax…" says Campbell, "You search for the Albertson's, correct? Do not fear, for it does exist; I am uploading the coordinates into your mind as we speak. When you awake, simply follow my directions and you shall reach your destination…"

Moments later, Whale the Whale regains his consciousness to a worried toaster. "Oh God, I thought you died! Are you okay!?" yells the frightened toaster. Whale the Whale gets to his feet and brushes himself off before responding, "I'm fine" and trekking off into the desert. The toaster stands there, thinking to himself for a second before sprinting off to catch up to his aquatic ally.

"Where are you going?" says the inquisitive toaster.

Whale the Whale turns his head and says "I'm going shopping."

* * *

Commentary: Finally, after a horrible case of writer's block, I present to you…Whale the Whale: Chapter Eight. After going through months and months of having literally nothing pop into my head on the subject of animorphic whales and the suffering deep down inside, I decided to just steal something from an old Uncyclopedia article I wrote on Silver the Hedgehog about him being banished to get some eggs and milk from the Albertson's. Anyway, this chapter finally got the idea ball rolling again, so expect new chapters when I get done with PGR 4, which is on it's way in the mail as we speak. Rubs hands together Yeeeeeees, I weel drive ze Caparo und I weel drive eet good! 


End file.
